- I was so stressed for this past month and I still am because of the ever-present academic stress, I feel so sick of it but I can't get myself out of the loop...
- I did nothing AT ALL except school work and I hate that A LOT
- The more work I have to finish the more things come up in head that I want to do instead
- I've lost grip of myself a couple times this past month and my life has been like train wrecks all messed up, I could not get hold of what I was feeling exactly and it's so frustrating
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Monthly Nuggets: April '13
This month passed so quickly with all these academic work I have to race time to finish [boring as ever I know : / sorry] so this monthly summary is up this late...
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Monthly Nuggets: March '13 [personal sharing]
I don't have a lot going on in March except the boring routines I've repeated enough and you probably won't want to hear at all. Over this month I've been struggling and I want to address that instead.
This is a personal issue and I don't talk about it at all, only a number of people in life know about this. I am only comfortable to talk about this to people I really trust my feelings with. At times I really wanna tell some friends but I just don't want to bother them or I don't want them to thinking I'm just some sad pathetic people looking for comfort and sympathy as to feel better. That's just not who I am.
So...here we go... I suffer from panic attack and stress eating.
I'm not properly diagnosed with a doctor but I know what's going with me and I've done a little research to confirm that.
Panic attacks happen mostly when I'm in a crowd. I genuinely cannot deal with a crowd of people. I avoid areas with a lot of people. When I have to be in crowded places, I cannot stay long. I usually feel like I cannot breathe, I feel dizzy and frightened, I'll froze on the spot and go blank. It's better when I'm with somebody I know so I can focus on talking with them and ease my mind from what's happening around me. Sometimes they think I'm just lost in my thought while I was in panic. Sometimes I feel like escaping, I would just keep walking in a rather fast pace, I keep deep breathing while I walk non-stop for some moments until I'm too tired to move or I found a place where there are less people. I'm not simply 'scared of people', I just feel uneasy within a crowd especially when people are all passing by in different directions and there are all kind of noises. I just cannot deal with that. I'm trying to and it's better than before but if I don't have to, I wouldn't go to some crowded places on my own.
Stress eating...
I'm not the kind of person who would have a craving for food. I only seldom have such thought. I know it's like the opposite of what most people think of girls in this society but I don't have a particular interest in chocolate. Some people would go for a chocolate bar as snacks and I very often prefer something else. However, when it comes to stress eating I can eat an entire chocolate bar in a day. I'm not those purposely excluding chocolate from my diet because it's unhealthy or whatever reason that is, I just don't particularly like it as somebody don't particularly like a certain kind of food. Also, I don't go to chocolate exclusively when I'm stressed for the benefits some say chocolate bears to those who need some mood lifting. I just find chocolate a kind of pattern in my stressed eating. Another thing I discovered is I eat what I don't usually like when I'm under stress. I don't why that is but I do eat more when I feel tense and I eat things I wouldn't usually go for. It's confusing for me and I don't really like the idea of this but I haven't been able to make this situation better yet. I know it's bad for my health that my mind is trying to instruct me to eat my way out of my stress which isn't really working. I even feel more worse than before that I'm doing this to myself. I really hope it will be better one day...
Have you also have these issues like I do? What have you done to help yourself? I would like to read what you've been through and maybe you could give me some advice as well. Thank you so much if you've read this far, I know it's not interesting at all but I just wanna share with you as these issues have been especially intense this month. I hope you had a way better March than me!
This is a personal issue and I don't talk about it at all, only a number of people in life know about this. I am only comfortable to talk about this to people I really trust my feelings with. At times I really wanna tell some friends but I just don't want to bother them or I don't want them to thinking I'm just some sad pathetic people looking for comfort and sympathy as to feel better. That's just not who I am.
So...here we go... I suffer from panic attack and stress eating.
I'm not properly diagnosed with a doctor but I know what's going with me and I've done a little research to confirm that.
Panic attacks happen mostly when I'm in a crowd. I genuinely cannot deal with a crowd of people. I avoid areas with a lot of people. When I have to be in crowded places, I cannot stay long. I usually feel like I cannot breathe, I feel dizzy and frightened, I'll froze on the spot and go blank. It's better when I'm with somebody I know so I can focus on talking with them and ease my mind from what's happening around me. Sometimes they think I'm just lost in my thought while I was in panic. Sometimes I feel like escaping, I would just keep walking in a rather fast pace, I keep deep breathing while I walk non-stop for some moments until I'm too tired to move or I found a place where there are less people. I'm not simply 'scared of people', I just feel uneasy within a crowd especially when people are all passing by in different directions and there are all kind of noises. I just cannot deal with that. I'm trying to and it's better than before but if I don't have to, I wouldn't go to some crowded places on my own.
Stress eating...
I'm not the kind of person who would have a craving for food. I only seldom have such thought. I know it's like the opposite of what most people think of girls in this society but I don't have a particular interest in chocolate. Some people would go for a chocolate bar as snacks and I very often prefer something else. However, when it comes to stress eating I can eat an entire chocolate bar in a day. I'm not those purposely excluding chocolate from my diet because it's unhealthy or whatever reason that is, I just don't particularly like it as somebody don't particularly like a certain kind of food. Also, I don't go to chocolate exclusively when I'm stressed for the benefits some say chocolate bears to those who need some mood lifting. I just find chocolate a kind of pattern in my stressed eating. Another thing I discovered is I eat what I don't usually like when I'm under stress. I don't why that is but I do eat more when I feel tense and I eat things I wouldn't usually go for. It's confusing for me and I don't really like the idea of this but I haven't been able to make this situation better yet. I know it's bad for my health that my mind is trying to instruct me to eat my way out of my stress which isn't really working. I even feel more worse than before that I'm doing this to myself. I really hope it will be better one day...
Have you also have these issues like I do? What have you done to help yourself? I would like to read what you've been through and maybe you could give me some advice as well. Thank you so much if you've read this far, I know it's not interesting at all but I just wanna share with you as these issues have been especially intense this month. I hope you had a way better March than me!
Saturday, 9 March 2013
Monthly Nuggets: February '13
I'm sorry that this monthly summary came in late...I'm dealing with a number of issues lately...
Y The academic stress is massive right now, I have been losing my sleep and I struggle to focus in class. I don't want this to happen as it makes me so frustrated. The worst is it makes me highly motivated to do nothing and just let it all slip away which is such a horrible thought. I'm try my best to evict it out of my mind...
Y It was Chinese New Year during the course of February, as always I had a nice time with my family members. Even though you don't really know some of them and you just see them that one time every year, it's still nice to get around and spend some time together.
Y I'm trying to strike a balance between doing what I have to and what I want to. I don't have enough time for both and I definitely don't want to miss either one of them; what I have to do keep me going in life and what I want to do keep me wanting to keep on living and wanting to accomplish more in life. Both are essential so I feel tense as I try to do as much as I can.
Y The temperature fluctuated quite a lot in the month and it's taken it's toll on me; I am constantly on the brink of getting sick...I've sniffling non-stop...
My life is really boring...I almost lost the motivation to add some spice to it. Some of my friends are having a really rough time also and we all feel so down. We were talking and we felt like crying, then it suddenly heats me real hard that we've got each other even though it's such a crappy time and I just said "it's going to be gone, exactly how we don't want these nasty things to happen to us will be our biggest motivation to keep going and just do whatever feel best for ourselves at the moment, we don't even know how it's gonna to end up, then why should we spending the time to fret now, we sure got time to do that later, or maybe even never!" I don't know how my friends are taking it but I definitely feel better that I know at least I possess this though and it should be able to keep me going for now!
How was your February? Do you have better moments?
Y The academic stress is massive right now, I have been losing my sleep and I struggle to focus in class. I don't want this to happen as it makes me so frustrated. The worst is it makes me highly motivated to do nothing and just let it all slip away which is such a horrible thought. I'm try my best to evict it out of my mind...
Y It was Chinese New Year during the course of February, as always I had a nice time with my family members. Even though you don't really know some of them and you just see them that one time every year, it's still nice to get around and spend some time together.
Y I'm trying to strike a balance between doing what I have to and what I want to. I don't have enough time for both and I definitely don't want to miss either one of them; what I have to do keep me going in life and what I want to do keep me wanting to keep on living and wanting to accomplish more in life. Both are essential so I feel tense as I try to do as much as I can.
Y The temperature fluctuated quite a lot in the month and it's taken it's toll on me; I am constantly on the brink of getting sick...I've sniffling non-stop...
My life is really boring...I almost lost the motivation to add some spice to it. Some of my friends are having a really rough time also and we all feel so down. We were talking and we felt like crying, then it suddenly heats me real hard that we've got each other even though it's such a crappy time and I just said "it's going to be gone, exactly how we don't want these nasty things to happen to us will be our biggest motivation to keep going and just do whatever feel best for ourselves at the moment, we don't even know how it's gonna to end up, then why should we spending the time to fret now, we sure got time to do that later, or maybe even never!" I don't know how my friends are taking it but I definitely feel better that I know at least I possess this though and it should be able to keep me going for now!
How was your February? Do you have better moments?
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